Mal-Zoe. Asking for permission.

[badinlatin]

Mal isn't normally given to pacing, but the kitchen gives him a perfect spot to practice.

His first lap, he figures he can go find Zoe right now.

Second lap...maybe after dinner.

Third lap...later on, after Naomi's put to bed.



By the sixth, he's convinced he's leaving Zoe a recorded datapad under her proverbial door a week from next Thursday.

Comments

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

The thing about a ship this size is that if you wait long enough to go find someone, chances are they might end up finding you.

"Everything all right, sir?" Zoe asks as she sticks her head through the door.

[badinlatin]

"Yes. Fine."

Absolutely not, actually, but Zoe could probably already tell that by the way Mal's standing like Zoe's going to pull a gun on her and he doesn't have any spare ammunition.

"Had somethin' I wanted to talk to you about, actually."

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

...It's not the most convincing "fine" ever, no.

Zoe crosses towards the table, glancing at him as she pulls out a chair to sit. "Yeah?"

[badinlatin]

Mal sits down.

He's been contemplating for at least three days on how to say this out loud, in front of what comes down to his best friend and the only other remaining Overlander in the 'verse.

He pulls out a picture of their old platoon and places it between Zoe and Mal on the table; the pair of them were standing side by side, even then.

"I want to go back. I'll go alone, but I want to go back."

I have to.

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe looks at the picture, and looks up at Mal, briefly, her eyes widening a bit, and then back at the picture.

"Back?"

(you never leave)

[badinlatin]

"U-Day's comin' up," Mal starts again, part explanation. "I got a wave for a job that'd take us past Hera on the way to the other side o' that quadrant toward the Whitecap trading post, and I figured...If I was gonna go through with it..."

Now or never.

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe doesn't say anything for a long moment, still looking at the picture.

She takes a deep breath, then asks, "You sure you want to go through with it?"

[badinlatin]

"I'm sure I don't, actually." Matter-of-factly and sincere.

"Think I sort o' have to, though, Zo'." He cracks his knuckles almost uncomfortably, bone jarring against bone. "Between Naomi, Inara, the crew... My attention is divided enough."



"This is the one thing I ain't tried."

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

"Well."

Zoe still hasn't looked at him.




"Not sure what t' make of this, sir."

[badinlatin]

"Not sure what to ask you to make of this. I'm flat out of plans on this end."

The tips of Mal's hair - again with the necessity for a haircut - are mussed further when he runs his fingers through it, but he continues explaining, "I figure we can come to a wide orbit, and I'll go off in a shuttle. Can't leave me there though - gotta come pick me up eventually."

A weak attempt at levity.

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

"It's--"

It's your boat, she almost says. Take it where you want, not like I can stop you.

"If you're plannin' not t' land there on my account, it's okay--I can camp out in the bar, or somethin', if I decide I don't want t' be there. Wouldn't mind."

[badinlatin]

"Thanks," is all Mal manages to say.

Then, leaning one cheek into his palm, elbow against the table.

"Ain't ever really not known where I was goin'."

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

"I..." Zoe shakes her head, spreading her hands.

"I can't say I've ever thought about goin' back. Not even thought about not wantin' to, really. Just...the idea ain't ever occurred to me, before now."

[badinlatin]

"No reason for you to," Mal replies quickly.

"You always did come out of it stronger than I did."

[righthandwoman.livejournal.com]

Zoe manages a slight, weak smile at that.

"You really think it'll help you?"

If it does, then she can deal with whatever problems the ship being there gives her.

[badinlatin]

God, I hope so.

An expression to match Zoe's, and a quiet, "I ... hope."