Malcolm Beauregard Reynolds (
badinlatin) wrote2012-01-23 12:24 pm
Adventures in Ambergeldar.
Mal finds himself actually...rather excited, for his field trip to Ambergeldar. It's been years since he has gallavanted off to another universe and he trusts Amy to keep him from making a fool of himself.
After leaving his gun with his mother in Milliways - something Sallie praised him for; "No need to bring guns into someone else's world" she noted - he follows Amy through her open door.
But somehow
"Amy?"
It's a lot darker here than Mal expected. The ceiling of the room is inches from the top of his head, and the only light in the room comes from deep wall sconces that make crevices in the space seem deeper than they probably are.
Looking behind - no door back.
Mal reaches out to run his fingertips along one wall, following the path until the wall ends and opens up and out into a wider space.
A bedroom. A big one, with - Mal counts quickly - seven beds.
"What the good gorram."
After leaving his gun with his mother in Milliways - something Sallie praised him for; "No need to bring guns into someone else's world" she noted - he follows Amy through her open door.
But somehow
they get separated.
"Amy?"
It's a lot darker here than Mal expected. The ceiling of the room is inches from the top of his head, and the only light in the room comes from deep wall sconces that make crevices in the space seem deeper than they probably are.
Looking behind - no door back.
Mal reaches out to run his fingertips along one wall, following the path until the wall ends and opens up and out into a wider space.
A bedroom. A big one, with - Mal counts quickly - seven beds.
"What the good gorram."

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Frowning.
Then gaping slightly at the intruder.
"You..."
But the gape is slowly morphing into a wide smile, and the dwarf steps into the room. Steps right up to Captian Reynolds. (Not that he knows Captain Reynolds from a hole in the ground -- and dwarfs know their holes in the ground.)
He embraces Mal around the waist with enough force to lift him slightly off the ground and bruise kidneys.
"You came. I can't believe....at long last...." He turns and shouts over his shoulder, "LARRY! WE'VE GOT ONE!"
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If you keep asking questions like this, Reynolds, he'll never answer you!, he chastises himself.
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Balki (which is, in fact, the name of the dwarf currently embracing Mal Reynolds like he is the brother that was left for dead in the Tangled Forest during the Goblin Uprising) gives Mal one final squeeze before finally turning him loose.
He might even wipe a tear from his eye.
"Amy? I've never heard anyone call her that before."
He turns to address a much grumpier looking dwarf who has come to see what all the fuss is about.
"He already has a pet name for her. Isn't that sweet?"
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"Who are you talking about? Where is this?"
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"This is the bedroom," he says. "You could have come around to the front door, you know. You are more than welcome. Your Highness," he adds, with a bow.
"Yes, yes!" Balki's belated bow has a lot more flourish. "We've long awaited this day. Well, for the last few months, anyway."
"No that we are not happy to have sheltered thy love throughout this time. It was our pleasure. Though the casket does take up rather a lot of space, and we had to more the coffee table out entirely---"
Balki breaks off sharply as Larry sidles up and kicks him.
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(He's never even needed to talk to Jayne like this.)
"Who. Are you. Talking about."
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It's Larry who leaps into the breach.
"The Princess Blanche of France."
"Your true love? The one you've come here seeking? To break the enchantment and take her away to be your bride?"
There may be the slightest note of pleading in his tone.
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But Mal stands, examining the basic facts of the situation.
1. Amy and Mal have gotten separated.
2. The only two people who know what's going on right now are...these two.
3. They have some woman in this...dormitory? that someone is supposed to 'save', but hasn't come yet.
"Let me see this person."
After all - what if it's Amy, and the dwarves are just even more confused than they seem? A million different scenarios are playing through Mal's head right now, and none of them good.
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"Of course, Your Highness. Of course. Right this way."
Larry grabs Balki and thrusts him out of the room ahead of them. The reason for this is fairly apparent as Larry leads Mal into what seems to be the main living area where Balki is hastily clearing laundry and dishes off of the furniture.
Including a freestanding, glass-lidded casket, situated in the middle of the haphazard room.
Larry clears his throat.
"We were going to put her outside," he attempts to explain. "Beneath the blossoms of the fruit trees, as would be more fitting."
"But then the rains set in, and the orchard flooded, and, well, it takes the orchard grass forever to dry out..."
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In a glass box.
With the palest skin Mal's ever seen - not that that's terribly odd for a dead person - but her mouth is still red as blood. Circulation! She's not dead! These idiots have her in this feng kuang de box, and --
Mal rushes forward, shoving the casket lid to the side and off with a horrible clatter and smash, reaching in and starting chest compressions.
"yī, èr, sān, sì, wǔ -- "
And then Mal tilts the woman's head and meets his mouth to hers to force respiration.
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At last.
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"I knew you'd come," she says.
And then those same large blue eyes look Mal up and down, taking in the plain shirt and trousers and boots.
" . . . younger son?"
Ah, well.
Beggars can't be choosers, right?
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"How are you feelin', miss?"
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There's more fluttering of her eyelashes.
"And what is your name, monsieur?"
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"Um. Where should you be?"
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Did they ever get this man's name? Not that it really matters.
"Back to his palace? Wedding to plan? Etcetera?"
Balki chimes in.
"Yes, to his palace. I'm sure if you left now, you can be there by dinner."
Smiling.
"We've loved playing host, of course, but you see, there are only two of us here now, and an enchanted princess in the living room means that one of us had to be home at all times. It made tending to the mine a bit of a challenge, plus, I'm taking night classes in toy making, and Larry here has been seeing this barmaid at the Tabby Cat Inn, and keeping the princess has really cut into our--OW!"
Larry really does kick like a mule.
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"But of course," she says. She stoops -- and stoops -- to kiss first Larry and then Balki on both cheeks. "Merci, Larry. Merci, Balki. You 'ave been ze most wonderful 'osts zese many weeks."
She turns her attention back to her unfortunately underdressed rescuer prince.
"Shall we, Mal?" she asks, pronouncing his name like the French adverb.
It's an odd name, Prince Bad, and it would be worrying except that he was the one who woke her up, and is clearly therefore her one true love.
He's also really cute.
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"You three," pointing to each one of them in turn, "Make no lick o' sense, and I am leaving. I'm going to go to the rutting castle. I'm going home."
Finding Amy.
Finding Milliways.
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"But of course," she says, again.
That's what they just said.
She reaches out and takes Mal's arm (and she's stronger than she looks).
"We are going to ze palace. Togezzer."
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"Oh, no," Larry says. "You kissed, her. You woke her up. That means you have to take her."
Really, as annoying as it's been to walk around a casket since the enchantment, Princess Blanche has been at her most agreeable while unconscious.
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Namely, he's very cute, and she's awake, and he's her true love, and it will all work out.
Happily ever after.
Because that's how this goes.
Blanche tightens her grip on Mal's arm, and begins determinedly steering him toward the front door, where his magnificent charger is no doubt waiting.
He does have a magnificent charger, right?
Because she really can't be expected to walk through the forest in these heels.
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Amy's going to be worried.
Inara's going to kill him with a spoon.
Death by spoon.
Mal stares at Blanche - because he refuses to call her 'Princess' - and wishes desperately for silverware.
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. . . though oddly, that would also work if wishes were silverware, with the added bonus of being much more civilized.
"Au revoir, Balki. Au revoir, Larry," Blanche calls, as she and Mal (with varying degrees of reluctance) step out into the Forest of Faraway.
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Prince Perseus of Plumblossomburg is morosely wondering what causes a prince to be lost -- surely it can be nothing as prosaic as a nail -- when he stumbles upon --
Or rather, when he, with great forethought, arrives at the home of his beloved princess . . .
Whatserface.
Oh dear.
Well, surely knocking won't hurt. Much.
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Balki and Larry have been doing the Dance of Joy around the living room for the last ten minutes, celebrating their newfound freedom.
Now there's yet another stranger at their door.
One that looks......very prince-like.
.........oh, dear.
"Can we help you?"